I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
