im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize