so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
