think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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