If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
