These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
