if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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