my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
