Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
