your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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