We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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