he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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