I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We need to rekindle our bromance
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
