dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
