I can tuck mytits in my pants
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
