Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Found your dick twin last night
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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