i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He kissed a someone with a penis
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
