No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
