If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
