How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
