Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
