Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
