so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
