I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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