When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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