It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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