The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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