My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
