she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize