Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize