Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
