I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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