Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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