If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
