You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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