Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he was CRYING into my vagina
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
