He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
