hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
