I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
