carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
