Please, let me fuck your mom
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
