Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
