what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
then he tried to convert me to islam
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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