The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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