My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
