She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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