i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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