He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
