I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
organizing the empties. That sober.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
