And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
