we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
