I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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