are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
