My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
