i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He passed out mid-signature
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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