hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
